Overwhelmed

I feel overwhelmed when I look at my photos of Hugo. Overwhelmed with love, and by loss. Overwhelmed that I helped make such a perfect human being. Those perfectly-formed fingers, those feet. That handsome face, that well-formed nose. Hugo was such a gorgeous baby.

I have been overwhelmed by the love and support I have received this week. Friends have changed their social media avatars to a Baby Loss Awareness week image in Hugo’s memory. Charities and other bloggers have got in touch to ask me to write guest posts for them about Hugo, and his legacy. Organisations have been keen to listen to my suggested improvements and positive about helping me implement them. It is wonderful to see individuals, charities and organisations willing to work together and complement each others’ work in order to help people.

I have received an overwhelming response to blogs I wrote last week for Neonatal Intensive Care Awareness – the response has exceeded my wildest expectations. A US charity shared my baby bereavement photography post, and I was so moved by the many comments about the post, and about Hugo. My favourite was “As we say in Texas, he is mighty handsome” (it’s best appreciated when imagined being spoken in a rich Texan drawl). I was also overwhelmed by the people who wanted to share their own stories of loss. So many babies who did not get to go home, grow up. So much sorrow.

Most importantly, neonatal staff have said they have reflected on their own practice and will make sure they are explicit with bereaved parents about taking photographs after their baby’s death. I want to make sure other families are helped in Hugo’s name. It really is a huge comfort to know that this is happening.

All of this positive activity is making me feel a little overwhelmed, in a tired way. It is mostly good – I am on the way to achieving what I set out to in Hugo’s name, and that is incredible – but I am still struggling to quite achieve the balance I keep talking about. That balance is still proving elusive, but I am getting there. Step by slow step.

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The Reading Residence

22 thoughts on “Overwhelmed

  1. pleromama says:

    This is wonderful, Leigh! Well done! I am so happy for the families that are going to helped by your writing and experience and also so happy that Hugo’s legacy is having such a great impact.

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  2. Jane says:

    Hi, I found you through the weekend blog hop. I can’t begin to imagine what you have gone through and it’s fantastic what you are doing in Hugo’s name. I’m sure you are helping more people than you could possibly believe x x

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  3. oana79 says:

    It is bound to feel overwhelming, that is a huge amount of emotions, plans and pain to sort through. But you are making a huge difference, I spoke to ClicSargeant about Now I Lay Myself to Sleep and about bringing it to Northern Ireland, since it is in England now! I truly hope many families will be comforted through this. I plan to do a post on it too, to raise awareness here. You inspired me for it! Big hugs, rest this weekend if you can!xx

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    • Leigh Kendall says:

      That’s wonderful, Oana! I hope NILMDTS can go to Northern Ireland and help make precious memories for families. I’m looking forward to reading your post. It’s lovely to hear about the difference a humble blog post can make. Love and hugs xxx

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  4. thenthefunbegan says:

    The overwhelming response is an indication of what an amazing job you have been doing to raise awareness and how many people do care. I’m sure all your posts on the subject must help other bereaved parents too. X #wotw

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  5. liquoriceuk says:

    Well done Leigh, you are doing so much to raise awareness of baby loss. I’m not surprised you feel overwhelmed with everything you have been through and everything you are doing to help others. I love seeing your photos of Hugo on your blog – they are all so very beautiful x

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  6. thereadingresidence says:

    You’ve achieved so, so much, Leigh, you should be so proud of yourself. But yes, I can well imagine it’d be overwhelming, and you need to find that balance for your own well-being. I do love that Texan comment, too, just gorgeous. Well done and take care xx Thanks for sharing with #WotW

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  7. Tim says:

    Well done on achieving all you have done so far, both from a personal perspective and in terms of wider awareness. Balance is such an elusive thing to find. I’m not sure I ever have, and that’s just with me writing for myself rather than with the purpose you have. Keep at it – and don’t be afraid to step back and take time for yourself occasionally!

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