BritMums Live: What A Difference a Year Makes

I went to BritMums Live with a few simple goals: to tell people about #HugosLegacy and #MatExp; to learn how to extend their reach; to get some tips on getting my book published; to spend time with my friends and to enjoy myself.

This year’s event was a world away from last year, when I arrived not knowing a soul and felt terribly overwhelmed because everyone but me seemed to have friends to hang out with.

What a difference a year makes! I had a very long list of people to see and to hug – I feel privileged to know so many lovely people. The event was so hectic I didn’t get to spend as much time with some people as I would have liked, which was a real shame.

On the Friday, I felt fabulous in the gorgeous dress kindly gifted by Kaliko while on Saturday I wore my lovely versatile White Stuff dress.

I find such events a little over-stimulating – so much going on, so much to look at, and listen to. I often worry I am being rude when talking to someone because my eyes keep flitting around the room, and I felt awful too when I didn’t straight away recognise a couple of bloggers I regularly chat to.

The lovely Carla from Random Thoughts of a Twenty Something kindly let me bunk up with her at the Travelodge, and we travelled down together from our hometown.

I chatted to so many people – some of the photos we took are in the collages below.

With Vicky (Single Mother Ahoy) and Carla; with Sara (Mum Turned Mom) and Heledd (Running in Lavender); Hannah (Budding Smiles); Kiran (Mummy Says); Susanne (Ghostwritermummy).

With Katie (Pouting in Heels; Vicki (Honest Mum); Amy (Mr and Mrs T Plus Three); Michelle (Bod For Tea).

Waiting for the BiBs awards to start: Beth, Kathryn (Bumps and Grind), Louise (23 Week Socks), Oana (Mama’s Haven), Vicky, Carla; with Hayley (Downs Side Up); with Carla; with Kat (Beau Twins)

Gorgeous ladies: with Katy (What Katy Said), Katie, Hannah, Aby (You Baby Me Mummy)

I was so pleased to be able to give Oana from Mama’s Haven the huge hug I have been saving for her since we started chatting on Facebook last summer. Oana’s beautiful little boy Georgie sadly died from leukaemia last July, and we were able to sit and chat about our boys. We bereaved mothers have a sort of shorthand that others are very fortunate not to know. It’s the first anniversary of Georgie’s death shortly, please help Oana and her family celebrate this special little boy’s life by doing something for Georgie #LiveitforGeorgie.

Me and Oana

BML was like the first anniversary for me and beautiful Beth. At last year’s event, Beth saw a tweet I had made about an insensitive thing someone had sent to me and from then on looked after me. I am proud to call this wonderful, generous, and kind woman a friend and I’m pleased we were able to spend time together.

Me and Beth

There were people I wish I had more time to chat with – Susanne (Ghostwritermummy, and one of my #MatExp partners in crime). I was pleased to meet her beautiful daughter Elsie though. Elsie enjoyed grabbing my fingers and appeared to be entranced by my sparkly nail polish – clearly a girl after my own heart! Katie (Pouting in Heels) and I didn’t have nearly enough chatting time (and as our lunch in Leeds proved, we sure can talk. And talk….) Diaries at the ready for another meet-up, Katie! Renee (Mummy Tries) sadly couldn’t return on the Saturday, and I was really sorry to not have spent more time with her. And Tim (Slouching Towards Thatcham)! One of the few dad bloggers. We kept saying hello to each other but seemed to be unable to manage more than pleasantries. So pleased I gave you a big hug though, Tim.

I loved meeting and exchanging hugs with so many other lovely people, too.

To be honest, for me the social side of the event outshone the sessions. The event felt really friendly and easy going to me; I thought it was because I was comparing it to my experiences last year, but others echoed that. That’s as it should be, I think – it doesn’t matter how many followers you have or how many views your blog gets, we’re all human beings.

The icebreaker session turned out to be a world record attempt for the number of people dressed up as tissue paper mummies. We achieved it – by one! I felt bad for the mummies towards the back of the room who must have been sweltering in their toilet roll swaddling while they were waiting for the adjudicators to arrive. Despite our initial reluctance, the exercise was great fun – and we all got to say we’re record breakers. (Except I now have Roy Castle’s theme tune from the classic ’80s show in my head). Kudos to Michelle and Carla for volunteering to be our table’s mummies.

Mummies being mummies…

My favourite sessions were Women’s Voices; Digital Activism; and the support from blogging round table led by Hayley.

As talking about Hugo and about #MatExp were two of my goals at the event, I was pleased to be able to stick up my hand during the Women’s Voices and Digital Activism sessions to talk about Hugo and my work with his legacy, and with #MatExp. Women deluged Susanne and I after the #MatExp event wanting to get involved, which was fantastic. I’ve taken away some actions and ideas, which is brilliant. A lovely lady even told me her mum in South Africa would be so pleased to hear she’d met me, because her mum follows my blog – incredible.

I was also delighted to find out that I was Mumsnet’s Blog of the Day for my post about what I wanted the National Maternity Review to know.

Blog of the Day!

I also loved Victoria Wright’s fantastically moving and brilliant speech.

The bloggers’ keynote rounded off the event. I had entered my own post – A Celebration of Life – and was disappointed to not be chosen. However, I was pleased to learn that Louise from 23 Week Socks had been selected to read Twinkle Twinkle. This is an incredibly emotional, moving post about the death of a baby that is so similar to Hugo’s last moments it is uncanny. There are so few such stories around it naturally had a particular resonance for me, but it is also so beautifully written. Louise’s beautiful post is a tribute to all babies who didn’t make it home, and the staff who care for them and their families.

I had read Twinkle, Twinkle so many times I thought I could cope with listening to Louise reading the post, but I was wrong. There were some emotional posts preceding Louise that had already started to choke me up, but Twinkle Twinkle was far too close to home and I started to sob. Wracking sobs, in fact. It made me realise how foolish I was thinking I could have read my post about Hugo’s funeral. No chance.

I was grateful for the love and support of wonderful friends at my table who held on to me and didn’t let me go as my heart broke all over again. I am so grateful too to the wonderful friends came up to me and squeezed me with love and hugs after the keynotes had finished. Thank you all.

At first, I thought it was a shame that an event I had enjoyed so much ended with me sobbing. The sobbing wasn’t good, of course, but it also served to remind me that so often the lows come after the highs. Grief is always lurking under the surface. Just as importantly, I left feeling so loved and cared for by genuine friends who I can laugh with and cry with.

Blogging really can be amazing.

There was wine, there was yummy cake, I talked about my Hugo and #MatExp, I am blessed to have wonderful friends.

My business cards were hugely popular, and I have only a couple left! I’m glad they were a hit.

Some of my fabulous business cards.

I allowed myself to enjoyed myself, and enjoy myself I did. What a difference a year makes.

 

 

I’m Going to BritMums Live!

It’s nearly time for BritMums Live… I’m really looking forward to the two-day blogging conference. It promises to be a brilliant event, with the chance to catch up with so many of my friends, and get lots of tips from the sessions.

Please do come and say hello!

Name: Leigh (you pronounce it like you would ‘Lee’)

Blog: Headspace Perspective

Twitter ID: @leighakendall

Height: 5′ 4”

Hair: It’s naturally dark brown, and I have some blonde highlights. In fashion jargon I believe my current hair colour is called ‘bronde’.

Eyes: Green. I may wearing contact lenses or glasses.

Is this your first blogging conference? No, I was at BritMums last year. Since then, I’ve attended Mumsnet’s BlogFest last November, and BlogCamp in Birmingham last month.

Are you attending both days? Yes! I’m staying in a Travelodge with my good friend, lovely Carla from Random Thoughts of a Twenty Something.

What are you wearing? On the Friday I will be wearing this beautiful gifted Kaliko dress. Saturday will no doubt be another dress of some description.

What are you most looking forward to at BritMums Live 2015? So much! Most of all, I am looking forward to catching up with so many wonderful friends during the two days. Some friends I have met before and am so excited about seeing again, while others I am really looking forward to meeting for the first time. This is significant progress compared to last year’s event, when I arrived not knowing a single soul and was ready at one point to walk out and go home because everyone but me seemed to be surrounded by friends.

Besides the social side of the event, I am looking forward to being inspired by the sessions, and to leave with lots of ideas for my blog. I will be particularly looking for ways to further extend the reach of Hugo’s Legacy, so will be making sure I have a place at the digital activism session. Vicki (Honest Mum) will as always have fantastic tips on how to be a successful blogger in a way that is relevant to me (and you!). I am writing a book, so I will be making a beeline for the session on how to market myself and my writing.

What do you hope to gain from BritMums Live 2015? As above, ideas for generating further awareness of Hugo’s Legacy. I am also writing more posts about what makes me, ‘me’, and I often gain inspiration from talks at these events, as well as from exchanging ideas with other bloggers.

Do you have any tips to pass on to others who may not have been before? The event is huge, and can be overwhelming especially if you don’t know anyone as I discovered last year. The insta-walk taking place before registration is a brilliant idea, and will help break the ice.

Smile and introduce yourself to people. I know this can seem really scary, but the vast majority of people are kind and friendly.

It can be really noisy and overwhelming, so don’t be afraid to take regular breaks away from the hubbub to recharge. Not every session will tickle your fancy, so take the time to make the most of spending time chatting with your friends (and drinking wine!).

Phones and cameras are a must – and their respective chargers. I recommend wearing layers; even on a warm day, the venue’s effective air conditioning can be a bit chilly. Oh, and flat shoes for all the walking and standing around.

A small notebook and pen, and your business cards. You don’t need as much stuff as you think – you only end up lugging it around. Don’t forget the goody bag at the end of the conference is generous – and heavy!

This is what I look like with my specs on!

The Perfect Little Pink Dress

Every woman needs a little black dress in her wardrobe, according to old style wisdom. A dress that flatters, makes her feel good whenever she puts it on. A dress perfect for pretty much any occasion.

Well, I’ve finally found my little black dress – except it’s pink!

My perfect little pink dress is this beautiful number from Kaliko. I love colour, and the Crepe Dress caught my eye on the website. The dress did not disappoint in real life – the fuschia pink colour is stunning.

The cut is perfect for my curvy figure, hugging the parts I like to accentuate and floating over the bits I am less confident about. The dress felt like it was made just for me.

I’m 5’4”, and the hem reached my knees which is the perfect length for me.

Being blessed with a large bust, shopping for dresses can often be a trial because of having to find a neckline that is a flattering shape, but doesn’t show too much cleavage. I didn’t have to worry about that at all with this dress: the deep ‘V’ neckline with fabric underneath shows off my assets but the cut helps preserve my modesty!

The fabric feels incredibly luxurious – it flows beautifully as I walked. The pleat detailing at the front floats along in a slightly dreamy fashion. I thought the sheer straps were a pretty, modern touch to this classic dress.

The simplicity of the dress means it is appropriate for nearly any occasion. I’m going to be wearing it to BritMums Live! next month with this statement necklace from Joules, and my Clarks sandals – they are metallic silver with gold studs, which makes them a little bit special (flat shoes at that event are a must!) with a cardi over the top.

I could also see myself wearing the dress to a wedding or garden party – this purple shrug (from Jacques Vert, which I already had in my wardrobe) helps set off the dress perfectly and turns it in to a very elegant outfit.

There are so many ways the dress could be accessorised to suit the occasion: with a statement necklace or more understated traditional jewellery; with a cardigan, shrug, or jacket; with flats or heels.

Such versatility is the beauty of this dress, and I would be as happy wearing it to a posh do as I would on a night out somewhere special with my other half, or with friends. Added to that the timeless, classic cut and colour the £129 price tag makes this dress a wise investment for any woman’s wardrobe.

Disclosure: I was kindly gifted this dress; all words and images are my own.

Images courtesy of Martin Parker.

 

For Your Consideration: Brilliance in Blogging Awards 2015

Nominations are open for one of the most prestigious blogging prizes – the Brilliance in Blogging Awards (or BiBs, for short).

Organised by BritMums, a major parenting blogging network, the awards celebrate the best bloggers in 12 categories.

Asking to be nominated feels a little awkward. A year ago today, I was in a very different place – physically and emotionally. I had never heard of BritMums, or the BiBs. I dearly wish that I was not sitting here today typing this, and that you, dear readers, had never heard of me or of Hugo.

But you have heard of me and of Hugo. That is because Hugo died. I took to my blog to express my grief, and to raise awareness of HELLP syndrome, the rare pregnancy illness that nearly took my life and was the cause of Hugo’s very premature birth. I set up Hugo’s Legacy (#HugosLegacy on Twitter), to raise awareness of HELLP, birth trauma, premature babies, baby loss, and improved support for those experiencing these things.

The things that Hugo’s Legacy has achieved in less than a year (I wrote my first Hugo-related post at the end of April 2014) have exceeded my wildest expectations. Readers have got in touch to say they now feel better able to be sensitive towards those who have lost a baby (or suffered a bereavement in general); more people have now heard of HELLP syndrome, and know what the symptoms of that illness and its close relation pre-eclampsia are; health care professionals have said they have reflected on and changed their practise as a result of reading my posts.

There are so many wonderful blogs and bloggers out there, making choosing who to nominate a challenge (I’m having trouble narrowing down my choices!) I hope you will consider nominating my blog – I’m not in it for the plaudits, but being nominated for a BiB would be another achievement for Hugo’s Legacy. Plus, I would be lying if I said I wouldn’t be incredibly chuffed and proud.

Nominations are made via this form.

There are two categories you could consider nominating me for.

The first is Inspire – “The content, the voice, the infectious enthusiasm of these bloggers encourages everyone around them. They are seen as leaders in their field and their inspiration is felt through the community.” My blog seeks to inspire change, and my readers have told me I am inspiring (which is very kind indeed).

The nomination form asks for a sample post. Some posts you may like to consider include When #HugosLegacy Trended; HELLP Raise Awareness; Five Reasons Why ALL Preemies are Completely Inspiring; Creating Precious Memories: Baby Bereavement Photography; An Open Letter to the Neonatal Unit Staff Who Cared for Hugo; Start a Conversation About Baby Loss.

The other category is Writer – “Most blogs have writing at their core. But some blogs feature writing that makes it hard to stop laughing and reading. Whether a blog reads like a compelling bestseller or gorgeous poetry, this award celebrates the words on the page.” Due to the challenging subject matter of many of my posts I am sometimes surprised that people do read them, and find beauty in my writing.

Again, the form asks for a sample post. My writing is diverse, including poetry and prose, as well as awareness-raising articles. Some posts for your consideration include: For the Babies Who Didn’t Make It Home; The Option for Compassionate End-of-Life Care; Giving My 18 Year Old Self A Good Talking To; Do Good Things Come to Those Who Wait?; A World Gone Up in Smoke; The Letter from the War that Shattered the Peace.

A couple of other bits of information the form asks for are the nominee’s Twitter handle (@leighakendall) and email address: headspace-perspective@outlook.com.

Nominations are open until midnight on April 12, 2015. Ten from each category are then chosen for the shortlist, announced on April 28. The community then votes for their favourites; the finalists are then revealed, and the winners revealed at the ceremony on June 19.

Thank you for all your support for everything during the past year.