Grief is Everywhere

Grief is everywhere:

The cloud of grief veils everything, makes every day things feel like treacle, out of focus, not quite right.

Grief is everywhere – symbols of Hugo everywhere – stars of course. A comfort and a curse. In the butterflies, birds and bees. Nothing is what it is anymore, everything has a special symbolism, a special resonance.

Grief is everywhere, in new mums holding their new babies, proudly cuddling, not knowing the pain of grief.

Grief is everywhere, my innocence lost, even with a hundred more babies there will always be one missing. My first born.

Grief is everywhere, a cloak that envelopes me.

Grief is everywhere, looking over my shoulder, in my head, in my heart.

Grief is everywhere, tainting everything with guilt, with absence, with pain.

Grief is everywhere, swooping malevolently.

Grief is everywhere, in the beauty of nature.

Grief is everywhere, people trying to take pain away that they cannot.

Grief is everywhere, in the pain I need to feel.

Grief is in the loneliness, the hope.

Grief is everywhere, my baby is in the ground

My baby is in my head, in my heart, in my soul, forever. I love you, Hugo.

6 thoughts on “Grief is Everywhere

  1. rachealemig says:

    Beautiful… thank you for sharing your heart and your pain. It is a refreshing honesty, this. I have been having a hard few days and felt an odd compulsion to use Google satellite last night to look up the cemetery where my son is buried. I zoomed in and looked at where his body lay and thought it so strange and incredibly sad that he should be there, rather than in his room down the hall, asleep in his crib. Grief is everywhere… may we find peace with grief and may it become a companion, a reminder, rather than a burden.

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  2. Casey Bottono says:

    Another beautiful post, Leigh.

    Although my circumstances are different, I can relate to ‘nothing is what it is any more’. So often, grief robs us of the things that would have had a positive effect. I appreciate your sharing your journey with us.

    Take care,

    Casey

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