Resonant words to remember

I stumbled across this picture on social media a couple of days ago. It is from the beautiful CarlyMarie Project.

Most of the words really resonated, because they sum up succinctly what I have been trying to achieve.

What my heart, my soul needs to not just survive, but to thrive.


I say ‘most of’ the words resonated, because I am unsure of the last line, “the more my heart could heal.” I am not sure whether my heart ever can heal. I’m not sure if all the achieving and thriving in the world can make my heart heal. There will always be a Hugo-shaped hole in my heart.

Ultimately, however, it is the overall sentiment that caught my eye.

Not second-guessing, or judging my feelings is something I am trying to achieve.

Grief can be a messy business. My grief is messy because it is entangled with the trauma of my illness.

I want to feel grateful for being alive, without a sense of guilt that Hugo is not.

I want to not feel guilty about ‘wasting precious time’ feeling sad. Feeling sad is a natural part of grief.

I want to not feel guilty about being sociable, or withdrawn.

I want to be more compassionate towards myself. More mindful of my feelings. Not beat myself up for feeling something, or not feeling something. I have enough to deal with without lumbering myself with being so critical of myself, too.

These words have been written in my diary. The hope is that the more I read them, the better the chance of them sinking in.

You never know. Stranger things have happened.


7 thoughts on “Resonant words to remember

  1. blopmamma2014 says:

    These words have resonated with me this week, even though I have seen bereavement as opposed to experiencing it.
    I’ve thought about you and Hugo a lot this week, every time I see a star in the sky or caught sight of the ones on my Christmas tree.


  2. Mummy Writes says:

    Beautiful words. Sometimes I find these quotes make me feel inadequate… like I should be strong minded enough to ‘heal’ so that I’m ‘better’ and can ‘move on’… but I know what you mean. I think 2015 will be a year to be kind to ourselves xx


    • Leigh Kendall says:

      Thank you. I know what you mean. I want to be kind to myself, and these words to me are aspirational, that it can be possible. Let’s support each other to be kind to ourselves this year xxx


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