There are always quotes doing the rounds on social media. Some make you giggle a bit, some you nod along with. Every so often, a quote appears that is so resonant it makes you say “Are you looking in my head?”
That’s what I thought when I saw this quote yesterday. It was on Twitter, so catching it amongst the hubbub was a minor miracle. Serendipity, surely.
The quote sums up so succinctly how I feel. It expresses the things I am scared of. People say I am ‘brave’, which is lovely. I don’t feel it, though. I am scared.
I am scared of remembering
I am scared of forgetting
I am scared of the past
I am scared of the future
I am scared of feeling too much
I am scared of feeling too little
I am scared of the bad memories
I am scared of the loneliness of grief
I am scared of the weight of my empty arms
I am scared that people in the ‘real’ world have forgotten about Hugo
I am scared that people in the ‘real’ world have grown tired of my unreliability and plan changing; of me.
Yesterday evening was an extra bad one, with lots of tears. Nothing in particular set it off; it’s the waves of grief. People sent love, hugs and private messages – thank you so much, it means the world.
Resonance is a comfort. To know I am not the only one.
My psychologist has given me a book about overcoming grief that I have started reading. It is useful because it is resonant, something else that is like looking in to my brain. I have stopped reading it because there was a section that upset me, but I shall have to skip past that part and find that resonance again.
Earlier this week, I had an idea pop in my head. The idea became the Bloggers’ Hierarchy of Needs, and was fun to write. It has resonated with many bloggers, with the sentiment that for all our differences we share similar motivations, that we are all the best at being who we are, and celebrating our supporting blogging community.
Knowing my post had such positive resonance for others has been a positive boost for me.
Resonance is such a positive thing. It shows us we are not alone. It gives us a virtual hug.
It is a great gift to give, as well as receive.