As I mentioned in last week’s Word of the Week post, I’ve been making an effort to go to the gym more regularly.
Earlier this week, I had an incredible two-hour spa treatment. My generous work colleagues (thank you, thank you!) had bought me a voucher.
During the treatment, my tense shoulders were unknotted (they even cracked), my skin was brushed and exfoliated and I had a facial.
As a result of the exercise and the spa treatment my skin glowed, and I felt a bit brighter.
I added a bit more makeup than I have been during the past few months. Just a bit of tinted moisturiser, a flick of black eyeliner and some tinted lipgloss.
When I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I realised I looked the best I have in months. That may seem shallow and superficial, but it also made me feel the best I have in months. In these difficult times, you have take the positives wherever you can find them.
To mark the occasion, I took this selfie and posted it on my social media accounts.
My lovely friends and family lavished me with compliments. It felt good, I can’t deny it.
One particular very dear friend hit the nail on the head. She remarked “You look beautiful – forget the hair or makeup, it’s the smile that makes it special.”
She is so right.
Before losing Hugo, I was known (amongst other things) for my ready, bright smile and infectious laugh. For obvious reasons, I have been doing less of those things during the past few months. And that’s fine. It’s part of the process.
Seeing that smile on my face reminds me that it is possible to get through this.
I’m not ‘better’, yet. Of course, it takes far, far more than a bit of eyeliner and lipgloss to manage or overcome anxiety and depression (wouldn’t it be amazing if that were the case?).
As time progresses, the better days will hopefully become more plentiful and the bad days will become fewer.
That smile will remind me that it is ok to be kind to myself. It will remind me that being kind to myself does me good.
That smile gives me hope.
That’s why ‘smile’ is my Word of the Week.