Fake it ’til you make it

No, not like that.

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I’m naturally contemplative and intuitive. For a long time I’ve wondered what secret was held by people who can best be described, euphemistically, as having more of an overt self-confidence in their own abilities.  I thought I had to be like them to get ahead. That was until I figured out a lot of them are just faking it.

Faking it – including wondering whether you should to get ahead or worry about being found out –  is a common concern.

Integrity, kindness and honesty are qualities that are important to me. ‘Faking’ holds connotations of dishonesty and poor ethics. So, do I want to fake it to make it?

I’ve noticed that the people I most admire don’t fake it, but have an inner confidence – in themselves as people and in their own abilities. They remain true to their own values.

A bit of faking might work at first, if only to trick the brain into doing something that frightens you out of your comfort zone. For me, part of that means being more open.

Being open is enabling me to be more ebullient, as well as passionate about the issues and people that are important to me.

If I was faking it all the time, I’d be looking over my shoulder, waiting to be found out. That seems exhausting.

There's no need for your personal ethics to clash with perceived expectations.

There’s no need for your personal ethics to clash with perceived expectations.

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

11 thoughts on “Fake it ’til you make it

  1. hannah mum's days says:

    This is so interesting! Vicki and I we’re just discussing this very thing today and she pointed me here. I’d certainly never thought of it like this, I just saw it as a self improvement tool, trick yourself into being a healthy person or a reader or confident or good at shopping or, or, or by faking it for a while. I didn’t think about the negative connotations, of being fake.

    Thanks for this great post Leigh xx


    • Leigh Kendall says:

      How lovely of Vicki to point you here. ‘Faking it’ I think is about tricking yourself until you learn the confidence for yourself, rather than being a fake person – I think it’s an important distinction. Thanks for reading and commenting xxx


  2. Honest Mum says:

    Totally agree with Katie and when I referred to faking confidence in my Blogging Tips posts I feel that it convinces yourself that you have more confidence which in turn makes you feel more confident, in the same way creativity is a muscle to be exercised, the more practice you have the better you become. I remember being on set, directing my first film aged 21 totally shitting myself but I had no choice but to take control, feign confidence and get to work, since then I’ve taken that approach in life, take the bulls by the horn and do your best but be kind to yourself in the process, fabulous, thought-provoking post! Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts


  3. Katie / Pouting In Heels says:

    I think the key to being more confident is just to give things a shot and always behave in such a way which ensures you can always hold your head up high. There will always be someone who has a louder voice or is better at marketing themselves, so the best we can do is to just be ourselves and recognise and be proud of the unique qualities that we have,that we can offer.

    Being happy with ourselves and giving stuff / life a go is what it’s all about, in my very humble opinion. Lovely post! x



  4. thenthefunbegan says:

    I quite like the idea of ‘fake it til you make it’ but only if it means,essentially, fake boldness and confidence that you might not feel, not ‘be a fake’ per se, if you know what I mean? It’s difficult to be a self-confident person but sometimes, confidence actually comes from learning to care less and be less interested in ‘being liked’ and more interested in ‘being respected’. I think that comes more with age anyway. X


    • Leigh Kendall says:

      I totally know what you mean – it’s about pretending you’re confident even if you’re shaking inside, rather than pretending to be someone you’re not – being fake. I think you’re right, confidence comes as we get older and we care less about fitting in, and more able to be ourselves. Thanks for commenting xxx


  5. Mummy Tries says:

    I am so with you on this one. It upsets me that in many ways we live in a culture of ‘who shouts the loudest gets heard’. I’d rather be known for honesty, kindness and integrity any day of the week xxx #brilliantblogposts


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